Gail: (sitting uneasily on the edge of the bed)
Gavin: (touches her shoulder gently. She winces a little) Lay back down.
Gail: I should probably go.
Gavin: Go where? Home alone? Stay with me.
Gail: Home alone or HERE alone.
Gavin: (sits up) Alone? Here? What are…
Gail: (Angrily) Come on, you got what you wanted. Let me have some dignity.
Gavin: You didn’t want this? It seemed like you wanted it. What are you feeling guilty about?
Gail: Yes, guilty. Guilty of being a dumbass. Guilty of being easy. Guilty of settling for this… shit!
Gavin: (scoots closer to her – pauses to choose his thoughts) Can we just talk through this?
Gail: (hysterically) Don’t!! Just don’t!! (weeping)
Gavin: (angrily) Stop this…SHIT! Right – NOW!!
(Gail is startled. Turns toward Gavin sitting in a ball)
Gavin: Stop the shame! And the guilt! Just live! Just explore! Stop judging yourself by someone else’s rules.
We BOTH wanted this. And, it was amazing! Don’t ruin this for me.
Gail: You yelled at me!
Gavin: You were hurting yourself with a bunch of self hate.
(pulls Gail close to him)
Gavin: We’re both smart, responsible adults. Sure, I’ve only known you for three hours? But I’ve had an amazing time.
Gail: Really? Was THAT supposed to make me feel better? THREE HOURS? Why don’t you just call me a slut?
Gavin: Is that what you really think of yourself? Is it?
Gail: I always end up here. I meet a guy and the next thing I know I’m having sex with someone I barely know. (pause) What – is – wrong with me?
Gavin: (Contemplatively) The only thing I see is…you might really like sex.
Gail: I do like sex. I REALLY like sex. I wake up thinking about it. I want sex all the time. I read about sex. (embarrassed) I even watch porn sometimes.
Gavin: Keep talking. I’m just liking you more and more. But… where’s the problem?
Gail: I have sex with someone and we go out a few times but it never goes anywhere or the relationship is all about sex. Is that all I’m good for? Is that all I have to offer a man?
Gavin: Gail, here’s what I know – after Three hours and probably 32 minutes. I really, really like you. I like talking to you. You’re smart and sweet and I wanna see where this goes. Not just sex.
I want to get into you – in every way possible. I see something in you that I have to have – and its not just sex. We could stop having sex and I’d still be into YOU. (pause)
Gail: You – are – an – idiot! Do you even hear yourself? You’re a lawyer and you’re completely blowing your OWN case. Do you really WANT to stop having sex with me? You WANT time off from this? (motioning to her body). You want to spend time with me and not get to look forward to what I do to you?
Gavin: Permission to strike that last statement…
Gail: (Hopping on top of him) Granted.
Gail is laying diagonally across Gavin. Both are panting.
Gail: Water…I need water…
(Gavin hands her a glass of water. She sits up next to him.)
Gail: Gavin? Be honest. Do you really want to get to know me? You’re not just saying nice things so you can keep having sex with me?
Gavin: Look at me. Gail yes I’m saying nice things so you’ll keep having sex with me. AND, I really want to get to know you. I feel like I do know you. The way you talk about your little sister and how you loaned your coworker your car for a week and took the train because she needed to pick her kids up while her car was in the shop. You burst into singing lines from musicals randomly. You’re secretly creeped out by little people and you feel bad about it. Gail, I listen to you. You’re fascinating. You have my FULL attention.
Gail: If I didn’t JUST have sex with you, I’d SO have sex with you right now! (Touching Gavin’s face) I really hope you’re real. I need you to be REAL Gavin. I can’t take anymore fakes. No more…
(Gail starts to cry. Gavin puts his arm around her and she lays her head on his chest. They sit in silence for a moment as she cries. )
Gavin: I can’t take anymore fakes either. Women find out I’m a lawyer and they just think money. They don’t really care about knowing me. We’re kinda in the same boat.
Gail: Boatmates in a shallow sea of fuckers. (They giggle) I think it’s cute and cool that you talk about the woods like it’s Narnia or something. You sound like a little boy. And, I like that you can work on cars. And you’re into vintage stuff – you appreciate quality. It reminds me of my dad. (Gavin looks confused) Not in a daddy issue way you dork! And I like your words. You talk to me like you’re really talking to ME. Sometimes going on a date is lonlier than sitting at home alone. People talk but they’re just trying to sound impressive. You share yourself with me. Like the story about how you didn’t make the baseball team in high school and your mom sold her jewelry to send you to camp and you ended up getting a college scholarship. I thought you were gonna cry. That was SO sweet.
And, I don’t give a shit about you being a lawyer or your money. I don’t NEED your money, I have my own… I just need you to be REAL and not just a fantasy.
(Gavin gets up and puts on his boxers. He walks to his dresser and pulls out a box. He comes back to the side of the bed. Gail sits up on her knees. Gavin opens the box and holds up a ring.)
Gail: Gavin, what are you doing?
Gavin: Gail, at 5 hours into this relationship I wan’t to ask you something. Well, first I want to promise you something. I promise I will always be real. AND… I will always be your fantasy too. I will listen to you and want you and appreciate who you are. I don’t want to let you go…EVER. So, Gail… What’s your middle name again?
Gavin: Yea? It’s Gail Gail?
Gail: No, My middle name is Gail. My real first name is Tabatha.
Gavin: Did I know that? I…I..didn’t reme..
Gail: No, I didn’t mention it. I don’t just don’t like Tabatha so…
Gavin: I like Tabatha. Can I…
Gail: No, I HATE it. So don’t…
Gavin: Anyway, (Mumbles – Tabatha) Gail Saunders, will you be my wife? Can we date and get to know each other and fall in love with each other and get married? Will – you – marry me?
Gail: Are you serious? Your SERIOUS… (Gail looks at the ring with her back to Gavin. She gets a devilish smile) No!! I can’t…
Gavin: No? I know it’s OBVIOUSLY sudden. but..
Gail: NO – cause you left out lots of sex!! (bonks him on the head) Oh my god, are you even a GOOD lawyer?
Gavin: Addendum. Addendum, Lots and lots of sex! LOTS of sex…
Gail: (pause as she paces) In that case, I accept. I’ll marry you.